F' YOU . . . PAY ME!

Consultant Culture

I have not written in a while as my energy is being pulled in many directions. I may just wing this one so hopefully it doesn’t suck and you don’t waste your time as I am not sure where it will lead and I may not spell check it. So there. Deal with that.

So I am a government consultant, kind of a dirty word in America. Been doing it since I got out of the Marines in 2012. I understand some of the criticism. At one job, at my most cynical, I thought our main objective was to deliver confusing power points in nice suits that made some sense to us and little sense to the customer. Not all the time, but some of the time.

At my my current role, which ends this month (more on that in a minute), I was part of a “managed service provider” where it was quite the opposite of the above; we did all the work. A Managed Service is SUPPOSED to work in a way where government provides the requirements and prioritizes the work and the managed service provider will execute the work. “Tell us what you want and we will do it within the confines of the contract.” In this last experience, the only thing I could detect was that the government’s main effort was not to get in trouble. Not to get in trouble with their bosses, with their agency, or with their department. It was a fear based eco-system that inhibited much of the value us lowly contractors were doing our best to provide.

I do not want to poo poo the experience, as I could also share a list of cherished lessons from having to work in these conditions. Like all negative experiences, I was given contrast on a platter. Contrast can refine what you don’t want and by extension, give you a new focus and new mission to what you DO want. This last role highlighted how much dignity means to me. It was during this time I bought a new car and, no kidding, “DIGNTY” is my license plate. In a fear based eco-system, I think dignity is the first thing to go. Instead it turns into what I am calling a “F*CK YOU. PAY ME” culture. I get this from the scene in Goodfellas. Sorry for the language but it is symbolic of the culture . . . it’s ugly.

As I mentioned, this project ends soon. An answered prayer! I was trying to leave before I found out it was already ending! One can only take so much contrast and refinement lol.

So now I am seeking dignity and customer leadership, while working to demonstrate the same in my own ambitions. For me, understanding the efficacy of love, and learning how to shed fear, uncertainty and doubt has led to tremendous value and growth. I went from 500 YouTube subscribers to 5,000 in two months. I set up shop to sell my embroidery on Tik Tok. I am working with the most talented videographers, editors and bands in the world. These pursuits are overwhelmingly blissful, joyful, and growing. They are fueled by love. Love is efficient and leads to growth. It’s not paying the mortgage today, but it will.